Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
