thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
