after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We had sex on a dog bed..
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I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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