That's intense
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
