Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
