I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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