its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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