Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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