Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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