is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
