is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
