guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
