pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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