so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
