he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
