Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
