I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
she peed on how many people?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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