Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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