Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
