i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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