My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't deserve a penis
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
