I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
