Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
