the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
