I CAN MOONWALK!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize