After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
