I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
