fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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