can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
soo... how was my night?
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