id be glad to
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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