U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize