You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
