quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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