we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize