Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
