all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
