if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
