How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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