So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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