Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
