hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
