just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
