Walk of Shame. In a state park.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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