I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
