Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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