wakey wakey hands off snakey
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
