therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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