well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
