i wish starbucks made bloody marys
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
