i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i out mim tonsoeep
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