I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
