would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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