is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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