so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
