He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
