I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
