well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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