hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
