ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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