You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
